Well, the cats went to a baseball game and got themselves into trouble, again!!
They are huge New York Met fans and got really drunk before the game even started, then
wound up sitting in front of "rabid" Detroit Tiger fans. Needless to say, they were also
drinking beer during the game and yelling, "the Tigers suck"; which was probably the
mildest phrase chanted by my intoxicated hairballs. Meanwhile, the "rabid" Detroit Tiger
fans really took offense and poured their beers on them. As my cats were licking the beer
off their fur, Dozer stood up to defend his siblings and punched one cat right in his
whiskers and knocked him out (which I was proud of as his momma).
Unfortunately it ended up as a total brawl. When the police arrived and broke it up, they
put the whole blame on Dozer since he threw the first paw punch. Never mind the
schmucks that really started it by throwing beer on my babies -- they got off with no
charges filed against them!
Dozer is now banned from the baseball park for 7 years and got arrested on top of that.
The hearing was scheduled and Dozer plead guilty for throwing the first punch, but
explained the circumstances, which the Judge refused to take into consideration.
Therefore, the Judge sentenced Dozer to Anger Management Classes. Sometimes the
justice system just doesn't work the way it should. We found out later that the Judge was
married into the family that started the whole mess and was a "rabid" Detroit Tigers fan
himself.
For 14 weeks I had to drive Dozer for his 2 hour Anger Management Class every Sunday
afternoon. He was not the only hairball in that class and quite frankly, compared to the
others, Dozer should not have been there at all. There was the black Maine Coon named
"Damian", that not only beat up his wife repeatedly but also his two girlfriends as well.
Dozer was scared to death of him because he had a tattoo on his left ear which was "666"
and Damian claimed he was the "devil" and came from hell. Then there was the Siamese
who was in class for knifing another Siamese who crossed over on "his side of the street".
Apparently they were in different gangs and could not enter into the others "turf". Every
week I would hear the stories when I picked Dozer up from class. There was "Shorts", a
British Short Hair who was in class for putting a Norwegian Forest cat in the hospital for
several weeks with broken paws, fractured ribs, etc. all over a silly misunderstood
language barrier. What is this world coming to?
I am very proud to say that my Dozer did graduate at the top of his class with the Russian
Blue taking 2nd honors, and "Angel" a beautiful Turkisk Angora taking 3rd honors. I do
believe my Dozer had a crush on Angel, who could blame him, she is very beautiful. For
graduation I bought a shirt for Dozer that had MY ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES
PISS ME OFF printed on the front, which he wore under his graduation gown.
Now my baby watches the New York Mets on the sofa from home instead of being there in
person, cheering them on. One good thing came out of this; I found out that Dozer had an
uncle who was a baseball star and played for the Boston Red Sox. How awesome is
that!! I asked Dozer for more background of his "family tree" when my other hairballs
chimed in about family histories of their own, some even dating back to England.
That means of course, I will have to verify their genealogy and hopefully a few more
wonderful stories will be discovered.
By Cathy Gregor
Copyright 2006
They are huge New York Met fans and got really drunk before the game even started, then
wound up sitting in front of "rabid" Detroit Tiger fans. Needless to say, they were also
drinking beer during the game and yelling, "the Tigers suck"; which was probably the
mildest phrase chanted by my intoxicated hairballs. Meanwhile, the "rabid" Detroit Tiger
fans really took offense and poured their beers on them. As my cats were licking the beer
off their fur, Dozer stood up to defend his siblings and punched one cat right in his
whiskers and knocked him out (which I was proud of as his momma).
Unfortunately it ended up as a total brawl. When the police arrived and broke it up, they
put the whole blame on Dozer since he threw the first paw punch. Never mind the
schmucks that really started it by throwing beer on my babies -- they got off with no
charges filed against them!
Dozer is now banned from the baseball park for 7 years and got arrested on top of that.
The hearing was scheduled and Dozer plead guilty for throwing the first punch, but
explained the circumstances, which the Judge refused to take into consideration.
Therefore, the Judge sentenced Dozer to Anger Management Classes. Sometimes the
justice system just doesn't work the way it should. We found out later that the Judge was
married into the family that started the whole mess and was a "rabid" Detroit Tigers fan
himself.
For 14 weeks I had to drive Dozer for his 2 hour Anger Management Class every Sunday
afternoon. He was not the only hairball in that class and quite frankly, compared to the
others, Dozer should not have been there at all. There was the black Maine Coon named
"Damian", that not only beat up his wife repeatedly but also his two girlfriends as well.
Dozer was scared to death of him because he had a tattoo on his left ear which was "666"
and Damian claimed he was the "devil" and came from hell. Then there was the Siamese
who was in class for knifing another Siamese who crossed over on "his side of the street".
Apparently they were in different gangs and could not enter into the others "turf". Every
week I would hear the stories when I picked Dozer up from class. There was "Shorts", a
British Short Hair who was in class for putting a Norwegian Forest cat in the hospital for
several weeks with broken paws, fractured ribs, etc. all over a silly misunderstood
language barrier. What is this world coming to?
I am very proud to say that my Dozer did graduate at the top of his class with the Russian
Blue taking 2nd honors, and "Angel" a beautiful Turkisk Angora taking 3rd honors. I do
believe my Dozer had a crush on Angel, who could blame him, she is very beautiful. For
graduation I bought a shirt for Dozer that had MY ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES
PISS ME OFF printed on the front, which he wore under his graduation gown.
Now my baby watches the New York Mets on the sofa from home instead of being there in
person, cheering them on. One good thing came out of this; I found out that Dozer had an
uncle who was a baseball star and played for the Boston Red Sox. How awesome is
that!! I asked Dozer for more background of his "family tree" when my other hairballs
chimed in about family histories of their own, some even dating back to England.
That means of course, I will have to verify their genealogy and hopefully a few more
wonderful stories will be discovered.
By Cathy Gregor
Copyright 2006
Anger Management Class 2006
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