We had a great day at a picnic with friends of ours that is a yearly event that we look
forward to and thoroughly enjoy. Great food and drinks with friends that we love dearly is
just the perfect way to celebrate the coming summer. Of course we usually over indulge
and getting home after the party we were surprised that we smelled grilling so late in the
evening. I was so anxious to see my hairballs after the whole day away and got really
upset when they didn't great us at the door which they always do. Well, after checking the
house I looked out on the back porch and saw the cats out there with Tom's grill and Frick
in the chair with his feet and beak wrapped with "duck" tape and Frack quacking and
running around as if she was beheaded. I should tell you who Frick and Frack are now ==
they are a male and female duck couple who come every year to eat and swim in our pool.
They are so tame for me that I can go out and feed them by hand and I was mortified to
see Frick bound up and ready to be flipped on the grill to cook. The cats turned around
and looked like dear caught in "headlights" and they ran into the house. I took the duck
tape off Frick and gave him back to Frack along with extra food and water for them and
they "quacked" to me constantly as I was trying to apologize to them for what my hairballs
did to him. After I cut Frick loose he went up to Frack and they kissed and nuzzled each
other then flew over and shit in the pool -- which they are not allowed to do but they were
just making a point for what they went through. Well, now I have to clean and shock the
pool before we can use it.
When I marched inside to confront my hairballs they all stood up and pointed to Dozer and
sang out in unison that Dozer did it and it was all his idea. I looked over at the Dozenator
and he said all the "pricks" were lying to get him into trouble again. I then asked how this
whole thing happened and needless to say the cats could not "cough" up all the details
fast enough to save their own asses because they all knew that Frick and Frack were also
my pets and that mommy was freaking furious.
I started by separating them and bringing each one in alone to hear what they had to say. I
thought this was a freaking brilliant idea so that they could not immediately cook up any
story together and hopefully I would hear some truth from each of them. Well: this is what
they all said:
Dozer: "Listen here, you left and didn't fill our food dishes and they all got on my ass for
dinner. This is you're fault and when they got on my ass and I then heard the "quack,
quack, quack" a freaking light bulb went off in my head and decided to just enjoy the
holiday.
Besides, the freaking quacks deserve it if they are so stupid; all I had to do was grab the
bread you feed them and make a trail to the grill and YES, FREAKING BINGO. DUCK ON
THE GRILL, which by the way you totally ruined when you got home".
Buddy Bee: " Mommy, it was all Dozer who decided to fry their asses and we could have a
good party while you were gone."
Ally: " Mommy, I just didn't know what to do because I love watching Frick and Frack when
they visit everyday but I was so afraid to help them because Dozer would have fried my
ass on the grill if I tried to help them".
Kunta: " Don't freak out bucko, I would have jumped in if Dozer actually would have flipped
his feathered ass on the grill -- so just freaking chill".
Well, those were the exact words they told me and right now I just have to get some cream
to put on Frick's feet from the duct tape that hurt him. I should also check out his beak too.
I have to tend to my poor ducks now until the next adventure that happens here.
By Cathy Gregor
Copyright 2005
forward to and thoroughly enjoy. Great food and drinks with friends that we love dearly is
just the perfect way to celebrate the coming summer. Of course we usually over indulge
and getting home after the party we were surprised that we smelled grilling so late in the
evening. I was so anxious to see my hairballs after the whole day away and got really
upset when they didn't great us at the door which they always do. Well, after checking the
house I looked out on the back porch and saw the cats out there with Tom's grill and Frick
in the chair with his feet and beak wrapped with "duck" tape and Frack quacking and
running around as if she was beheaded. I should tell you who Frick and Frack are now ==
they are a male and female duck couple who come every year to eat and swim in our pool.
They are so tame for me that I can go out and feed them by hand and I was mortified to
see Frick bound up and ready to be flipped on the grill to cook. The cats turned around
and looked like dear caught in "headlights" and they ran into the house. I took the duck
tape off Frick and gave him back to Frack along with extra food and water for them and
they "quacked" to me constantly as I was trying to apologize to them for what my hairballs
did to him. After I cut Frick loose he went up to Frack and they kissed and nuzzled each
other then flew over and shit in the pool -- which they are not allowed to do but they were
just making a point for what they went through. Well, now I have to clean and shock the
pool before we can use it.
When I marched inside to confront my hairballs they all stood up and pointed to Dozer and
sang out in unison that Dozer did it and it was all his idea. I looked over at the Dozenator
and he said all the "pricks" were lying to get him into trouble again. I then asked how this
whole thing happened and needless to say the cats could not "cough" up all the details
fast enough to save their own asses because they all knew that Frick and Frack were also
my pets and that mommy was freaking furious.
I started by separating them and bringing each one in alone to hear what they had to say. I
thought this was a freaking brilliant idea so that they could not immediately cook up any
story together and hopefully I would hear some truth from each of them. Well: this is what
they all said:
Dozer: "Listen here, you left and didn't fill our food dishes and they all got on my ass for
dinner. This is you're fault and when they got on my ass and I then heard the "quack,
quack, quack" a freaking light bulb went off in my head and decided to just enjoy the
holiday.
Besides, the freaking quacks deserve it if they are so stupid; all I had to do was grab the
bread you feed them and make a trail to the grill and YES, FREAKING BINGO. DUCK ON
THE GRILL, which by the way you totally ruined when you got home".
Buddy Bee: " Mommy, it was all Dozer who decided to fry their asses and we could have a
good party while you were gone."
Ally: " Mommy, I just didn't know what to do because I love watching Frick and Frack when
they visit everyday but I was so afraid to help them because Dozer would have fried my
ass on the grill if I tried to help them".
Kunta: " Don't freak out bucko, I would have jumped in if Dozer actually would have flipped
his feathered ass on the grill -- so just freaking chill".
Well, those were the exact words they told me and right now I just have to get some cream
to put on Frick's feet from the duct tape that hurt him. I should also check out his beak too.
I have to tend to my poor ducks now until the next adventure that happens here.
By Cathy Gregor
Copyright 2005
Memorial Day 2005
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