What a wonderful morning, my hairballs got up and mommy surprised them with an
easter egg hunt. All the cats were invited and some how word spread (I will explain
this later). I dressed Dozer, Buddy, Ally and Kunta in their new easter outfits and took
pictures with them holding their easter baskets for them to fill during the hunt. How
adorable they all looked and so freaking cute, I only wished they would have put on
happier faces for the photos instead of looking like mommy was putting them through
torture.
I was so proud of myself and so excited to see how my "babies" would enjoy the hunt.
I ordered 300 plus plastic eggs with different toys and treats inside so that my
hairballs would have a wonderful time and sent invitations out to all the neighbor cats
to join in too. What I was unprepared for was the crowd of cats that gathered for the
"hunt", most of which I never even saw before when I opened the back door to bring
out my "babies". They came prancing out and to my horror they were the only ones
dressed for the occasion and the meows started immediately along with hairballs
and laughing at my babies. Some of these hooligans were even pointing and rolling
over laughing so hard - needless to say - my babies were totally humiliated and
embarrassed by their mommy.
I dragged them back inside and took off their outfits and tried to apologize and
explain that this was a "dress" easter hunt, apparently no one else in the
neighborhood had any "class" and that they should remember the RELIGIOUS
meaning of Easter which was important, not bunny rabbits and egg hunts which were
really NOT EASTER.
To take the attention off of my babies I announced a special surprise for the one who
collected the most eggs and that the easter hunt would last for exactly 60 minutes.
The eggs were hidden in two acres of woods and grass and I handed out baskets for
the few felines that arrived and didn't have a basket. They must have been the Ferrel
cats in the neighborhood and I felt especially sorry for them. There was one
"asshole" that actually yelled "yahoo here I go" and that was my Buddy screaming his
lungs out - tail swaying and snapping - like some loco cowboy on catnip. THE HUNT
WAS ON. There had to be about 20 hairballs taking off with baskets on their paws
running for the hunt, tails flicking, then meows and screams coming from different
areas of the property and that was only the first 5 minutes of the hunt.
What a terrible thing I created. Within the first 10 minutes a few cats came limping
back with tufts of fur out, some bloody scratches, etc. because some hairballs were
beating up others and stealing their eggs from them for the "grand prize" -- which
was of course a whole pound of "un cut" catnip. I had to do something to stop the
madness so I blew my whistle and yelled through the megaphone that stealing from
others was an immediate disqualification from the egg hunt grand prize. There was
immediate "silence" and you could hear a pin drop throughout the forest. Then
friendly feline sounds continued without any other screams of pain blending into the
melody of joyous meows upon finding another egg in their hunt. Thank goodness
everything was going well and their joy was music to my ears.
After 50 more minutes the alarm went off to sound the end of the hunt and again I
picked up the megaphone to have everyone come in with their baskets for the final
count. They all came back to the house dragging their baskets and lined up for the
count like I asked them to. Ally of course was up front followed by Kunta, then Dozer,
and after the final count there were 35 other cats in line after them. Maggie (my
neighbor) counted all the baskets and wrote down the number of eggs and their
names which took awhile, but then I noticed my wild Buddy was not counted for at all.
I kept calling for Buddy and really started to get worried because he didn't respond to
mommy and Buddy was the most excited about the egg hunt. I knew something was
very wrong. I turned to look at Dozer and he just laid there and looked at Ally and
Kunta and I immediately knew something was really wrong. I then went over and
checked Maggie's list and "low and behold" Ally had "0" eggs, Kunta had "0" eggs
but the Dozer had almost 50 eggs in his basket and was the freaking winner.
I dragged Dozer's tush off to the side and asked what he did to Buddy and he just
threw up a hairball and grinned at me. I then got Ally and Kunta and they said that
Dozer would do the same to them that he did with Buddy if they "meowed" to
mommy. I told them that they better tell mommy or else they would all be in worse
trouble with me than with Dozer.
Ally meowed that Buddy was in the woods tied on a tree with his mouth taped and
that Dozer said he put Buddy on a tree cross just like in the Bible story about Easter
because Buddy refused to give Dozer all his eggs like Ally and Kunta did. Then
Kunta said that after Dozer tied Buddy up on the tree he just stood there and
collected all the eggs from anyone who passed by and saw Buddy on his "cross".
The only thing missing was a crown of thorns but I was relieved that my baby was not
nailed to the tree. I cut down Buddy and got the tape off his mouth and he wrapped
his paws around mommy and started crying and meowing so hard his little body was
just sobbing.
I walked back to the house and calmed him down and then started to look for Dozer
who had disappeared. For all the cats there that had no eggs in their baskets I
divided Dozer's eggs up for them to have. As for the catnip -- it was also divided
equally among all the hairballs. As for Dozer -- he came crawling slowly back home
about five hours after the hunt ended hoping that mommy had calmed down.
Needless to say Dozer will be "grounded" for the next two months and will start
"therapy" next week with a counselor to help change his bad behavior. I will keep you
all updated on his progress.
By Cathy Gregor
Copyright 2005
easter egg hunt. All the cats were invited and some how word spread (I will explain
this later). I dressed Dozer, Buddy, Ally and Kunta in their new easter outfits and took
pictures with them holding their easter baskets for them to fill during the hunt. How
adorable they all looked and so freaking cute, I only wished they would have put on
happier faces for the photos instead of looking like mommy was putting them through
torture.
I was so proud of myself and so excited to see how my "babies" would enjoy the hunt.
I ordered 300 plus plastic eggs with different toys and treats inside so that my
hairballs would have a wonderful time and sent invitations out to all the neighbor cats
to join in too. What I was unprepared for was the crowd of cats that gathered for the
"hunt", most of which I never even saw before when I opened the back door to bring
out my "babies". They came prancing out and to my horror they were the only ones
dressed for the occasion and the meows started immediately along with hairballs
and laughing at my babies. Some of these hooligans were even pointing and rolling
over laughing so hard - needless to say - my babies were totally humiliated and
embarrassed by their mommy.
I dragged them back inside and took off their outfits and tried to apologize and
explain that this was a "dress" easter hunt, apparently no one else in the
neighborhood had any "class" and that they should remember the RELIGIOUS
meaning of Easter which was important, not bunny rabbits and egg hunts which were
really NOT EASTER.
To take the attention off of my babies I announced a special surprise for the one who
collected the most eggs and that the easter hunt would last for exactly 60 minutes.
The eggs were hidden in two acres of woods and grass and I handed out baskets for
the few felines that arrived and didn't have a basket. They must have been the Ferrel
cats in the neighborhood and I felt especially sorry for them. There was one
"asshole" that actually yelled "yahoo here I go" and that was my Buddy screaming his
lungs out - tail swaying and snapping - like some loco cowboy on catnip. THE HUNT
WAS ON. There had to be about 20 hairballs taking off with baskets on their paws
running for the hunt, tails flicking, then meows and screams coming from different
areas of the property and that was only the first 5 minutes of the hunt.
What a terrible thing I created. Within the first 10 minutes a few cats came limping
back with tufts of fur out, some bloody scratches, etc. because some hairballs were
beating up others and stealing their eggs from them for the "grand prize" -- which
was of course a whole pound of "un cut" catnip. I had to do something to stop the
madness so I blew my whistle and yelled through the megaphone that stealing from
others was an immediate disqualification from the egg hunt grand prize. There was
immediate "silence" and you could hear a pin drop throughout the forest. Then
friendly feline sounds continued without any other screams of pain blending into the
melody of joyous meows upon finding another egg in their hunt. Thank goodness
everything was going well and their joy was music to my ears.
After 50 more minutes the alarm went off to sound the end of the hunt and again I
picked up the megaphone to have everyone come in with their baskets for the final
count. They all came back to the house dragging their baskets and lined up for the
count like I asked them to. Ally of course was up front followed by Kunta, then Dozer,
and after the final count there were 35 other cats in line after them. Maggie (my
neighbor) counted all the baskets and wrote down the number of eggs and their
names which took awhile, but then I noticed my wild Buddy was not counted for at all.
I kept calling for Buddy and really started to get worried because he didn't respond to
mommy and Buddy was the most excited about the egg hunt. I knew something was
very wrong. I turned to look at Dozer and he just laid there and looked at Ally and
Kunta and I immediately knew something was really wrong. I then went over and
checked Maggie's list and "low and behold" Ally had "0" eggs, Kunta had "0" eggs
but the Dozer had almost 50 eggs in his basket and was the freaking winner.
I dragged Dozer's tush off to the side and asked what he did to Buddy and he just
threw up a hairball and grinned at me. I then got Ally and Kunta and they said that
Dozer would do the same to them that he did with Buddy if they "meowed" to
mommy. I told them that they better tell mommy or else they would all be in worse
trouble with me than with Dozer.
Ally meowed that Buddy was in the woods tied on a tree with his mouth taped and
that Dozer said he put Buddy on a tree cross just like in the Bible story about Easter
because Buddy refused to give Dozer all his eggs like Ally and Kunta did. Then
Kunta said that after Dozer tied Buddy up on the tree he just stood there and
collected all the eggs from anyone who passed by and saw Buddy on his "cross".
The only thing missing was a crown of thorns but I was relieved that my baby was not
nailed to the tree. I cut down Buddy and got the tape off his mouth and he wrapped
his paws around mommy and started crying and meowing so hard his little body was
just sobbing.
I walked back to the house and calmed him down and then started to look for Dozer
who had disappeared. For all the cats there that had no eggs in their baskets I
divided Dozer's eggs up for them to have. As for the catnip -- it was also divided
equally among all the hairballs. As for Dozer -- he came crawling slowly back home
about five hours after the hunt ended hoping that mommy had calmed down.
Needless to say Dozer will be "grounded" for the next two months and will start
"therapy" next week with a counselor to help change his bad behavior. I will keep you
all updated on his progress.
By Cathy Gregor
Copyright 2005
Passion of the Pussy
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